The Creative Process

Most of the time being a creative is a fragile and emotional game. 

There are days... SO many days, when I finish a shoot and think 'Nah. Don't think I did well enough'. Or, I look at my edit and wonder 'why didn't I shoot x', or 'why didn't I frame this better'... The distance between what I want to produce and what I do has such a gaping discrepancy that I wonder momentarily if I should just give up. 

I wince at stuff I made just a few months ago and in moments of self doubt I beat myself up and watch better work... wondering how long they spend being as shit as me.

But then I try to stand back and see how I get better every day. I wince because already I have got better! How great is that? Really, when you think about it!

Little by little I am trying to close that gap... And I have to accept that I will never do so. My taste will only improve as my skill develops.

There will always be more to learn. I will always want to be better...

And yes, I could do with perhaps toning down the self-doubt and display an ever-sure attitude, but that's not my style. Maybe it's the Northern in me, but I'm always very open about my shortcomings... I'd rather let people know how I lack and surprise them, than be all bravado and let them down. Plus, I always know that generally the only person that sees that gap is me. 

And so you learn to live with the discrepancy and try to remember that it's a journey not a destination. Every time I get like this I watch this great little video- and remember that every one goes through this- it's the creative process and it's ok.... just gotta keep shooting.