I know this is all you really want to know... Did I have any boat epiphanies?
Well, baring the one I had on the way over (which did only get more intense of a feeling) I did have one more.
Recently I've been trying this thing where I am really trying to accept the shortcomings in myself and others I am of the belief that we're all a bit shit.
And I mean this in the nicest sense. I don't think people are bad at all, but I think we're all trying so desperately to be good, to do everything, be everything and find what we're looking for in a world that really moves too fast for us keep up.
So we end up messing up.
We end up not being quite as good a friend as we had hoped, not quite as good at guitar as we want to be, not still enough, not calm enough, not x enough. And sometimes we accept that, but often we don't. We beat ourselves up and demand more from our 24hrs. We beat others up, why can't they be better at x or spend longer on Y?
That's when we become a bit shit. We develop neurosis, hang ups. We fall into patterns.
I'm trying to get into accepting this more. Everyone has their shit. Everybody has something their working through and the key is to forgive them for it. Show empathy.
If it is someone else. Their shit has nothing to do with you. it has everything to do with them. All you can do is be there compassionately and let them deal with it.
The same goes if it is you. Be your own best friend. Show yourself compassion when your shit rears its head. Love yourself better. Make choices your best friend would make for you.
Now, I try to do this. And I'm quite adept at doing it to myself. I know all the numerous ways I suck and say to myself- you know, that's ok. Learn. And try to suck less next time.
With other people it is harder. It is harder to see people making choices that are destructive and be compassionate about that. I can often forgive for what is done to me in a negative manner, but the hardest thing is to understand why people don't treat themselves better.
I guess on the dingy I decided that people have always been self destructive and that is something I have to work to be more compassionate about.
And I think the key is patience.
I stopped being self destructive as I grew up. I started making healthier choices and I've never felt happier with myself. But that growth comes for people at all different times. And we can't hurry someone's growth.
There is something about being at sea, with its big horizons and it's small faraway towns that makes you understand patience.
Everything has its time. Everything has its rythm. In the busy city it is hard to step back and see the rythm of real life. That's why I need the sea I guess. It's gives me perspective. Which gives me patience. Which may make me less shit one day. Who knows... There's no rush.
That was my Boat epiphany.